To my gay friends here on Tumblr:

Have you ever wished that you weren’t gay?

I just want to know. I want to know that I’m not alone on this.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t because of how much life easier things could/would be if I wasn’t.

This could be the lack-of-sleep talking, but this is kind of how I feel at the moment.

Maybe if I were straight, I wouldn’t feel so conflicted with so many things.

An I wrong to be feeling this way? I’m walking this rocky path in front of me, and my feet cannot lightly tread anymore.

I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Too many emotions in the break of dawn.

It’s killing me.

Breaking the awkward number of posts I have. I now have 667 posts.

— “Nänie Op. 82”, Johannes Brahms (1833-1897)

Coincidence

How all this time, all I ever really wanted was for someone to be able to see right through me; to understand the things I might be going through without having to say a lot. I have found that person, another true friend I can confide in.

I honestly have never felt so vulnerable, so naked before.

And suddenly, I’m back to stage one.

Why am I still feeling this way?

I know it’s obviously pointless to keep going,

So why can’t my heart let it go?

I don’t know if it’s just me and the fact that I’ve been sleeping late lately…

But I’m just so sick of love right now.

It’s something I could possibly delve deeper into right now, but I’ll save that for another time.

Right now, I should probably sleep.

One Leaf: Gravity

You and I.

We are like planets in the galaxy.

Alone, I stand firm with conviction. 

But with you, I see confliction.

I’ve entered your atmosphere,

and now, I can’t escape.

Please, let me go because I don’t want to feel comfortable.

Comfortable in your gravity,

I’m falling slowly,

Closer,

Any closer, and I’ll be permanently stuck in this place.

I know I can escape, but it’s your gravity that keeps my natural disasters at dormant.

Please let me go. I don’t want to feel comfortable.

You’re what I was missing in my life,

but I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.

So set me free and leave me be.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.

You’re neither friend nor foe; though, I can’t seem to let you go.

The one thing I know is that you’re keeping me down.